Stupid things I've said and done that I'm going to blame on pregnancy

Sounds aweful huh? But how else can they be explained?
Things I've said:
"So you're a nurse? No... I meant you're a nurse. NO! I meant you're on a nurse today? AH! Sorry! You're with a nurse today?"
"No, I'm not nauseous, I just feel like throwing up!"
"I can't find my shoes!" to which my husband responded "They are in your hand!"
"Where are my glasses?" response "You're wearing them."
"Do you want to color" "yes ma'am" "Okay... but do you want to color?"
Things I've done:
-I have to pin numbers on childrens back and then give the parent a corresponding number in order to pick up their children. I knew that I had taken 2 off of the hook, but I couldn't find the second one. I asked the mother if I had already given it to her, she said no, so I gave her another one. About a half hour after the mother left I found the missing number! I had pinned BOTH of them to the little girls back!
-I was making dinner at my mom and dad's house and I needed to get the rice out of the pantry. I kept opening the refrigerator and getting mad because I couldn't find it. Finally my mom asked me was I was doing, "I'm just trying to make rice." "What are you getting from the fridge?" I laughed and walked around the corner to the pantry, after I got the rice my mom asked me again "What were you getting from the fridge?" "Nothing, I did't realize it was the refrigerator!"
Okay... that's all for now. Most of this happened the week before I found out I was pregnant! I've heard it's only going to get worse! Pray for me!